I’ve never kept up with what’s fashionable and what’s not. Not my thing. Unless it’s athletic shoes and hoodies. Then you might get my attention for a short time.
But today I was walking past the magazine rack, and WHAM!!! I run straight into this cover for the March edition of Porter magazine. And this chick is looking straight at me. I was like whoaaaaa….
I have no idea who this poor girl is. I tried looking for credits in this magazine, but it was all ads. I know, big surprise. Then I stared at her for a moment. And thought to myself, ‘Gee, you look like a textbook shoplifter.’
And the typeface directly under her, ‘The New Seduction.’ WTF??? Are they referring to this poor girl? This girl isn’t seductive. This girl needs a cheeseburger. Desperately.
A nap and a shower would probably work wonders, too. She just looks terrible. And she’s on the cover of a major fashion magazine. At least I think it’s major. I’ve never heard of it.
Porter. All that comes to mind is a porterhouse steak. Which sounds delicious. And this poor thing could use a bite or two. I don’t get it.
Now check out this side by side.
Vogue with Adele?? That’s my choice. That’s a real woman. And she looks healthy. Not like you would get a nasty STD or bugs. Real woman have curves. All the better to snuggle with. Just sayin’.
Take this cover with Christina Hendricks. Not only does she look like she’s eaten this week, she’s beautiful. And has an awesome name, too.
I bet our girl on Porter is beautiful, also. The magazine didn’t give her a fair shake. Whoever told them this look is attractive needs to be looking for a new job. And sweetheart, whoever you are, get a new agent. k