How Many Oreo Flavors Does Society Need ???

I never paid attention to how any different flavors and types of Oreos there are. Just never thought much about it, I guess. But as I looked at the four foot section devoted to Americas Favorite Cookie, it appears there is an Oreo for all occasions.

Behold!!! Oreos!!!
Behold!!! Oreos!!!

I am a huge fan of anything labeled carbohydrate, calorie, sugar…the list goes on. And Lord knows I’m just a fat kid and the more Oreos the better, but…

Watermelon Oreos??? Someone was baked in the creative department the day they came up with that one. Hell, they probably all were. Even a pregnant woman would likely draw the line at this one. Marshmallow Crispy??? Why??? Is that even a flavor???

So I did me a little research and came up with a list of all the various assortments of Oreo flavors. These are listed in no particular order, but we all know that Classic Oreo is the best, hands down.

  1. Classic Oreo. Da Bomb.
  2. Lemon Oreos
  3. Double Stuff
  4. Double Stuff Heads or Tails
  5. Peanut Butter Oreos
  6. Cool Mint Oreos (Sounds like mouthwash…)
  7. Chocolate Cream Oreos
  8. Golden Oreos
  9. Marshmallow Crispy Oreos
  10. Golden Birthday Cake Oreos (A cookie that is birthday cake flavored…I’m lost. Just eat cake.)
  11. Cookie Dough Oreos (Capitalizing on the ‘Let’s make everything taste like cookie dough phase. Just give me a tube of Pillsbury Chocolate Chip and I’m good. Eat that sucker like a banana.)
  12. Chocolate Birthday Cake Oreos. See number 10.
  13. Berry Burst Ice Cream Oreos.
  14. Rainbow Shur-bert Oreos. Not a typo.
  15. Creamsicle Oreos.

Of course we have the many holiday flavors. And don’t forget the Oreos that just have the cream filling dyed and are marketed seasonal. Oh, and don’t forget the many varieties of Fudge Covered Oreos. And the different shaped Oreos. Or the Cakesters.

Ok, marketing team, slow it down a bit. One shouldn’t be overwhelmed when purchasing a chocolate wafer with sweet cream filling. It’s not like we’re buying a Range Rover or something. I don’t want to contemplate my cookie purchase, so could ya help a gal out and tone it down a bit??? Thanks!!!     k